Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Randomize
