Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize
