dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
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