Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
