i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
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