Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
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