Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
You work out of a Hotel?
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
