Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Randomize
