Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
