Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
