Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I wish life had little blips of pornography
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
Randomize
