Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Randomize
