At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
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