I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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