no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
