Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
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