she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Randomize
