What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Randomize
