I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
