Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
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