How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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