you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize
