You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Randomize
