My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize
