Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
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