I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Randomize
