if i can run in heels then i can drive
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
