Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
