i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize
