Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
