Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
