As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
