Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
I need moral support for this bender
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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