At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Randomize
