So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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