i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Randomize
