Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
