he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
