ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
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