You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
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