When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Sorry my hands just texted you
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
