fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
