I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
