We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Randomize
