If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
