I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
