is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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