But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
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