Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Randomize
