Screwed.edu
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
did you just send me my own nude
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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