Christians are straight up FREAKS
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Randomize
