I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize
