So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
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