From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
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