Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Randomize
